I’m not wearing a dress!

I was proud to call myself a Tomboy. I didn’t like anything girly, I liked things that were comfortable and practical so there was no way you were going to get me to wear a dress!

A dress in my mind was too high maintenance. I wanted to run around, hang upside down, roll down the hill, climb the trees… with a dress there was too much of a chance someone would see my undies which meant I would then die of shame.

Being a tomboy too meant I naturally had many male friends, sadly some of these older “friends” took advantage of me and I think those experiences also validated my beliefs that wearing a skirt/dress was unsafe.

Netball is a massive game here in New Zealand but because the uniform was a skirt I refused to play even though I liked sport. I would play basketball instead, but most of my mates were into Netball.

A tracksuit was my go to, comfy as! But then my Uncle bought me some jeans, not just plain jeans, these ones had Ninja Turtle embellishments all over and were cool as! I’ve always had a bit a different style when it comes to fashion sense lol.

Sometimes my parents would want me to wear a dress.

I would play through all of the possible outcomes of wearing a dress in my head, all paths lead to me sitting down unable to partake in some adventurous activity or my peers pointing and jeering at me “Look at Jamie’s undies”.

One school morning my mum was determined to get me to wear this new dress I’d been gifted from a family friend. It was pretty cool, it was tie dyed purple and was a good length but there was still no way I was going to wear it. “I don’t wear dresses” was a strong part of my identity.

There was a stand off, I was protesting “I’m not wearing a dress!!” but she wasn’t open to negotiations…

I was dropped off to school late, face bright red and eyes puffy, I was already dealing with social difficulties at school so I already didn’t really want to be there. But here I was and even worse it was obvious I was a sooky as I wear my emotions front and center.

Little did I know, a lot of the things I was going through were indicators of ADHD.

This blog series will take you on the journey of my self-discovery and acceptance experience as I unpack my diagnosis of adult combined type ADHD.